Vanity Pet Products Hit New Low

Ever look at a pine tree air freshener hanging from the rearview mirror of a cab and think, "That would look great hanging from my dog's tail?" Me neither. But that's what the latest absurd pet product to hit the internet looks like. Rear Gear is a collection of colorful designs intended to cover up your dog's anus.

The website says these "rear enhancing" ornaments are "a fun and enchanting way of covering your pet's rear while boosting their confidence!"

If your pet is insecure, I can guarantee you that it has nothing to do with indecent exposure. But behind the ridiculous nature of Rear Gear are some very serious problems.

As veterinarian Patrick Mahaney points out, animals generally don't like that particular area of the body being messed with. Having something dangling back there would cause uncomfortable chronic stimulation. The result is that your pet is likely to try and remove his Rear Gear, and then it becomes an intestinal obstruction waiting to happen. Last, but not least, it wouldn't be easy to keep a tail ornament clean, which could cause fecal obstruction or infections.

Of all the ways that people project their own vanity onto their dogs, this is by far the least practical. Some dogs really do need sweaters. Some dogs need booties, and I've even see some dogs with sensitive eyes benefit from Doggles. Rear Gear has no conceivable purpose but to irritate your dog and get in the way of her natural behaviors. It's no big mystery how dogs greet each other. They get a lot of signals from the rear, and foreign objects will only get in the way.

I can only hope Rear Gear turns out to be a hoax because if you're that disturbed by your pet's anatomy, then you should have opted for the stuffed animal version with a neat little seam beneath the tail.

Photo credit: ishane