'War on Terror' Best Practices: Condoms vs. Viagra

Back in 1998 when the Afghan Taliban was large and in charge, a British aid worker friend of mine was stopped past curfew at a checkpoint outside Kabul. He had traveled from Peshawar, Pakistan across the border with a Pashto translator and a bag full of “illicit and pornographic materials."

My friend, Andy Bowerman, was taken and detained overnight as Taliban officials interrogated his translator and tried to determine what to do about these numerous sexual objects and disturbing images -- also known as condoms and sexual health workshop materials.

“We ended up being put in a room with 30 Taliban officials from the Ministry for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice,” said Andy, now an Anglican priest. He recalls how he and his translator were told: "Do your presentation for us and we'll decide what we do with you afterwards."

So Andy launched into the workshop of his life, showing slides on reproductive health and discussing the risks from various sexually transmitted diseases. He decided to close the session in his typical way with a game for these vice and virtue experts -- and so one of the men was sent out to procure several cucumbers from the local bazaar.

The workshop participant returned with the vegetables and Andy -- who lived to tell the story -- led a rousing game of ‘Strap the Condom on the Cucumber’ for this group of fully bearded Taliban mullahs.

My priest friend tells me that to this day he still cannot believe the visual image of these militant extremists racing against each other to see who could safely put a condom on a cucumber the fastest. And he said that the most satisfying thing was that when the workshop was over, the lead Taliban official said, "We know that some of our soldiers are engaged in extramarital sex. If we could quietly do some more trainings like this, it would be really helpful."

So Andy and his translator were taken off into the mountains outside Kabul to conduct training of trainer sessions for future Taliban sexual health workshop leaders.

An entirely crazy, surreal and true story.

Now fast forward a decade and compare this anecdote to a tactic employed more recently by the CIA.

According to the Washington Post in December 2008, American intelligence operatives offer “pharmaceutical enhancements for aging patriarchs with slumping libidos.” This CIA-sponsored Viagra distribution program aims to befriend Afghan warlords in order to gain intelligence on Taliban movements.

As the Washington Post suggests, I must admit that the strategy is rather creative and has the added value of being an invisible benefit system -- where more flashy gifts like cash or guns would draw unwanted attention to the newly minted American friends. However, I do wonder about the longer-term effectiveness of this program. Does promoting Viagra-induced procreation amongst warlords -- who are willing to switch sides at any time for better benefits -- really help the West in 20 or 30 years?

And while I believe that every family has the right to procreate, I also wonder if Taliban contraception might be a better counterinsurgency tactic with a generational perspective. Maybe the American war effort could learn a thing or two from a condom-distributing British priest.

Photo credit: Tiago Rïbeiro