What is Checkpoint Etiquette?

Every checkpoint is different, from border crossings to police roadblocks to Holy crap heads down! Here are a few insider tips from locals, aid workers, contractors, and journalists to help newcomers to relate to people who live this every day. Do get professional training if you're planning to work out there. As you approach in your vehicle...

• You might want to turn the music down. The song, "Shaft," might feel appropriate but it's probably not a good idea... At least not unless you're chased out of there...
• Chill or be chilled. You've gotta be smooth as silk, soft as cashmere. Listen to the guards attentively and answer them with kindness and respect even if they're wearing a necklace of human ears and a tutu... Or even if they're just nine-years-old...

• Massage the break, slowing to 5km until a guard makes some kind of halting signal... Or starts firing at the road in front of you... You might want to stop at that point...
• Crack the windows just wide enough to communicate with the guard and slip documents in and out... Although you may be compelled to, do not wind the window up on the guard's hand and start tickling him...
• Seems obvious, but if there is a weapon in the car do not chuck it out the window, aim it at the guards or slam the transmission into reverse... In fact, why do you have a weapon in the car in the first place? In most cases for civilians, you'll only be hurt if you are seen with a weapon... al Qaeda is an exception...
• Beware of "rock blocks," otherwise known as junk and/or livestock strewn across the roadway so you can't pass. This is a common practice for both poor traders trying to get potential buyers in no man's land as well as lunatic marauding kidnappers... Don't assume one isn't the other... (Also, get trained on how to evade explosive devices marked by stones...)
• If you're under attack, driving forward is probably obstructed by the checkpoint itself, reverse is risky unless you have a trained stunt-driver, so best to duck until there is a break in the firing then escape the vehicle for low cover... Once in ditch, call for mommy...

If you are seriously going somewhere dangerous, first make sure to get serious security orientation from professionals, and bring lots of chickens with which to bribe troublesome checkpoint guards...

Any of you old timer's have more tips to share with newcomers? Perhaps a course with RedR or InterAction?

[Photo: Upyernoz.]