When Anti-Gay Hospitals Attack

With yesterday being Tax Day, a day that many in the LGBT community see as yet another societal reminder that their relationships are less than equal, the weight of a Presidential Memorandum put forward by President Barack Obama on hospital visitation rights for same-sex couples takes on extra gravitas.

There's perhaps no greater evil in the world of LGBT discrimination in the U.S. then being told by hospital staff that you can't be at the bedside of your sick husband, wife or partner. Thankfully, these homophobic nurses, doctors, social workers and hospital staff won't be able to act so ruthlessly from this point forward.

The memo issued by President Obama applies to all hospitals in the Medicare and Medicaid systems.

"Every day, all across America, patients are denied the kindnesses and caring of a loved one at their sides — whether in a sudden medical emergency or a prolonged hospital stay," Obama wrote. "Uniquely affected are gay and lesbian Americans who are often barred from the bedsides of the partners with whom they may have spent decades of their lives — unable to be there for the person they love, and unable to act as a legal surrogate if their partner is incapacitated."

Uniquely affected is right. Just ask Teresa Rowe, Sharon Reed, and Janice Langbehn, all women who were forced to deal with hospital discrimination first hand.

Last year, while attending a gay rights meeting in Fresno, Teresa Rowe's partner Kristin suffered an epileptic seizure and had to be taken to a local hospital. When Teresa and Kristin arrived, hospital staff rushed Kristin into a room, and promptly told Teresa that she'd have to wait outside. Teresa had an intimate knowledge of the medication that her partner was on, yet she was prevented from consulting with doctors or visiting her partner inside the hospital room. As a result, her partner Kristin was given inappropriate medication, and had a painful reaction. That could have been prevented if hospital staff would have recognized the right of same-sex partners to be in the hospital room with their loved one.

And then there's the heart-breaking story of Sharon Reed, and her partner of 17 years, Jo Ann. When Jo Ann's chronic illness took a turn for the worse, she was taken to the University of Washington medical center. Sharon sat at Jo Ann's bedside for the first few hours, until a homophobic "Nurse from Hell," Karen Hully, came on board and promptly told Sharon that she'd have to wait outside while her partner was lying there, dying. What was Nurse Hully's reasoning? Hospital visitation rights only guaranteed blood relatives and legally-married spouses inside hospital rooms. As a result, Sharon was forced to leave the room by Karen Hully. By the time Sharon was able to get back in to be with Jo Ann, Jo Ann was so heavily sedated she didn't know any better.

And then there's the story of Janice Langbehn, who in many respects is the impetus behind President Obama's memorandum issued yesterday. Janice, her partner Lisa, and several of their children were on a vacation in Miami, when Lisa suffered a stroke and was rushed to Jackson Memorial hospital. Janice was denied access to Lisa for 18 hours at Jackson Memorial, only being allowed to see her partner as a priest came in to deliver last rites. As Janice fought long and hard to get access to Lisa's room, she was told by a hospital social worker that she was in an anti-gay city, and that she should deal with it. (Yes, that's right, a social worker, which is completely in violation of the ethical codes that govern the practice of social work.)

Three women, three painful stories. Now multiply these incidents by hundreds, and together we'll have a rough estimate of how many LGBT people experience discrimination at the hands of hospitals in this country.

Obama's memorandum yesterday is important. Does it move his administration any closer to overturning the Defense of Marriage Act, or repealing "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"?  No, it doesn't. But it is a milestone, and a major step forward for recognizing the dignity of same-sex relationships.

As Freedom to Marry's Evan Wolfson said, "The President's directive is a small, but welcome step forward. It addresses one of the many ways same-sex couples and their loved ones are made vulnerable and harmed by the denial of marriage and the safety-net of protections marriage brings - in this case, the assurance that a spouse can be by a loved one's hospital bedside and participate in medical decision-making at a time of great need."

If Obama's memorandum puts to bed stories like Teresa's, Sharon's, or Janice's, it will be one of the most important things his administration has done so far to advance LGBT equality. And it means that moving forward, gay and lesbian couples won't have to compile an army of legal documents and an expensive legal team just to try and get access to a partner's hospital room.

Janice Langbehn was on CNN last night, and she put the best punctuation mark on this, honoring her late partner Lisa. "I believe this will be Lisa's legacy, that she didn't die in vain," Langbehn said.

Here's hoping.

Photo credit: Rosser321