Where Do Desperate Families Go?

Escaping after more than a decade of hellish domestic violence was no simple task for an impoverished young mother with five children under the age of seven. Her concerned mother whisked the family away while the abuser was at work, and they returned to their hometown, the family moving into a domestic violence shelter and the grandmother into a tiny trailer.

Things didn't work out at the shelter, which can be the case for many reasons. The family was kicked out and, with no place to go, the grandmother bought and moved into another small trailer letting her daughter and the kids move into her old one.

Trailers need hook-ups, and the family's stay in it last weekend, when I met and interviewed them, was without water, electricity or plumbing, a brutal experience. For heat at night they propped open the door of the propane-powered oven, a dreadfully dangerous practice that can be fatal. Sign HEAR US petitions telling elected officials that house fires and mobile home fires can often be blamed on poverty.

After the weekend, the mother scrambled to find help, especially housing. She learned of HUD's Rapid Rehousing program, and lined up at 3 a.m., hopeful for an end to life in a tiny, freezing trailer. But she was told that help would not come rapidly, that she'd have to wait anywhere from three to nine months. She explained her family's desperate situation but it didn't help. I verified her status -- she's number 90 on the waiting list.

Other federal assistance, like subsidized housing and emergency funds, are not available. There is no shelter for homeless families in this community, just a forbidding rescue mission that serves lots of men, some women and a few unwitting moms with kids.

This is the fast track to family disaster. This young mother might lose her kids, leaving her on the streets, depressed and desperate. Stress often leads people to make ill-advised decisions, leading to further dilemmas. The kids know something is dreadfully wrong, and they act out at school and "home." Sadly, the mom told me she was considering returning to her abusive husband, a horrible option.

Poverty certainly reduces safe options for a family in crisis; just when they need the most help they find the least. I'm working with Dr. Laura Vazquez, associate professor in the department of communication at Northern Illinois University, on a documentary that looks at families in crises called It's All About the Children. When I shared this film over the weekend with the mayor of this family's city, he was dumbfounded about what families face, and was clueless about the lack of options.

Seems to me, as Bob Herbert recently opined in the New York Times, it's far past time to holistically address essential needs of fragile, endangered families in this country. "With the power elite consumed with its incessant, discordant fiddling over health care, the economic plight of ordinary Americans, from the middle class to the very poor, got pathetically short shrift," he wrote. Housing and supportive services are essential, but when push comes to shove, these families lose out to the power-brokers. In other countries, the masses riot against the elite. We're sure building up the masses -- with plenty of reason for uprising. But they'll be too hungry, tired and cold.

Photo credit: Diane Nilan