Why Catholics Don't Really Hate LGBT People

When I say “Catholic Church” and “homosexuality,” you probably think that the two don’t go together. In fact, you probably think that the Catholic church is outright homophobic and hateful toward gay people. Or you at least you think that the Church doesn’t look favorably upon us queers.

So it might surprise you to know that the Catholic church says some pretty respectful things about gay people. The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops put out a document called Always Our Children in 1997. This document was created to encourage the parents of adolescents and young adults who come out to love and care for their children. Here’s a link.

In this document, the Bishops say the following to parents: “Acknowledge the possibility that your child has told you this not to hurt you or create distance, but out of love and trust and with a desire for honesty, intimacy, and closer communication.” The document also encourages families to accept their children, to show them that they love them, and to respect them as God’s children. Always Our Children also says to maintain communication, that young gay and lesbian people are at high risk of suicide and that families must not exacerbate the likelihood of such a thing.

“There seems to be,” the document says, “no single cause of a homosexual orientation. A common opinion of experts is that there are multiple factors — genetic, hormonal, psychological — that may give rise to it. Generally, homosexual orientation is experienced as a given, not as something freely chosen. By itself, therefore, a homosexual orientation cannot be considered sinful, for morality presumes the freedom to choose.”

Now, of course, the Church does hold the, “Love the sinner, hate the sin” mentality. This means that the Church says that a person can’t be blamed for who they intrinsically are, but that acting upon their homosexual orientation (namely boinking a member of the same sex) is sinful. And as we all know, that’s just ridiculous.

But that’s just the institution of the church. While Catholics are encouraged by the Vatican to live by every edict and epistle they put out, most Catholics (just like any other religious group) have a personalized faith. Many Catholics in the United States practice birth control, have pre-marital sex, cuss occasionally, and don’t (and SHOULDN’T) feel bad about that. The Catholic Church has, at least since the Second Vatican Council, encouraged “intellectual inquiry” when pursuing a personal faith and connection to God. Essentially they are saying, “What we’re saying is true, but you shouldn’t just accept it, you should come to realize it’s true on your own and then you’ll really get it.”

And for a lot of Catholics, the personal journey to faith leads to individuals discovering that not all of their beliefs match up with all of the Church’s views. But in the same way that you don’t agree with everything your government does or says but remain a citizen of your country, these Catholics decide to remain in the Church. Most of what the Church says (that has nothing to do with human sexuality) fits with how these people believe, and so there’s no tension or contradiction.

The word “Catholic” means “universal” in Latin. You might often hear Catholic hymns or prayers saying, “We are many parts, we are all One Body,” meaning that while we are all different and unique, our belief in Catholicism unites us as one whole, a multi-dimensional and diverse connected body. I no longer consider myself Roman Catholic (in terms of being affiliated with the institution), but I love the Catholic faith and will always, in my heart, be Catholic. I don’t feel that my being gay contradicts my faith, and I know a lot of queer Catholics who feel the same way. So give Catholicism another look before totally dismissing it as anti-gay.

Photo credit: Paul J Everett