Why Having a Baby Was Bad for My Career

(yes, that's my son)

I just wrote that title to get your attention. Having a baby has limited my career options, but I wouldn't say being a mother has hurt it. Just changed it. I can't take dangerous jobs, travel extensively, work tons of overtime, or go long periods without insurance. I've got a little boy who wants to see me, and who needs to be able to see a doctor for vaccinations and check-ups even if he never gets sick.

As I mentioned in my previous blog post, I can no longer take dangerous jobs or work at unaccompanied posts. That's pretty obvious. I am also unwilling to take jobs with substantial travel or overtime, because I believe parenting is mostly about showing up. That rules out a lot of stuff that I know I would enjoy and be good at.

This is less obvious: I am now totally obsessed with health insurance. I can't go long periods as a consultant and just hope I won't get sick, which is what I used to do. I need a level of structure I didn't require before. And as long as I hope to someday have another child, I have to keep a very close eye on the benefits offered anywhere I work. Health and short-term disability insurance are very important. I didn't know this until I learned it the hard way. Please learn from my error.

When I got pregnant with my son, I was working for an international NGO. It offered no paid maternity leave, and no short-term disability insurance. (It just never even occurred to me to check. I was a salaried, posted expatriate manager for a major international NGO. I simply assumed their benefits would be fine.) Short-term disability is the only other way one can get time off to have a baby. That meant that I had no way to take time off, except for vacation days (of which I got 15 a year) or uncompensated leave. We were living in Uzbekistan, so our housing was paid for by my employer, as was our health insurance. If I took uncompensated leave, we'd be homeless and uninsured. With a new baby. So I saved up all my sick and vacation days - worked right up until the day I was in labor - and was able to take 4 weeks off before I had to go back to work.

In case you are wondering - yes, that did suck. So now, I scrutinize the benefits package of any job I take. I need a good health insurance package, and good short-term disability insurance. I turned down a job last year because they didn't offer short-term disability; I've learned my lesson.

All that being said, I think being a mother has made me a better employee. Knowing I can't just stay late to finish something has given me a new focus on deadlines and timeliness. I can now multi-task like nothing you have ever seen. Being a mom myself has given me new insight and empathy into women's health issues. And I like the jobs I'd had since becoming a parent.

I wouldn't give up being a mother for anything. That is the other thing I have learned since becoming a parent - every cliché you've ever heard about a mother's love is true. Every cliché and more. I would happily give up far, far more than just overtime and dangerous postings to be a parent.

But as soon as my boy goes off to college, I'm on the next UN flight to somewhere I can do some good.